Monday, November 4, 2013

My Divine Mother Self

Dear Beloveds!

The Solar flares in alignment with the Eclipse that we just had, are all bringing us a New wave of energy. With this current Eclipse, the New is mixed in with the old, so the shadow and the New are kind of mashed together. It is up to us Now, how boldly we will walk into a new life cycle. For the past couple of days, I AM going deep within myself and I AM seeing which parts of me were most deeply suppressed. This became more obvious after the Eclipse took place, and with each realization also comes a powerful release. The key here is to allow ourselves to really feel those feelings that come up with the release. And how do we know what part of us is still somehow suppressed? It is usually the part of us that we like to defend, that makes us reactive instead of responsive, and it makes us believe that there is only one way, which prevents us from being open to all. What is neutralized and whole, we never need to defend or deny. It just is and we always go with the flow of life.
I have so many Soul expressions embodied and I always feel so much in wholeness ... but ... there is a but here! One of my most deeply suppressed parts is the Soul expression of being a mother. There were so many messages coming into my awareness lately, all from Divine birth, immaculate conception, babies, children, birth, etc. I was literally beginning to freak out. I began to project into the future and I felt the fear of the unknown. I also kept dreaming about it, which is always a sign that we are processing something subconsciously. I began to question why this is so.

What AM I really afraid of? Why is this Soul aspect of me so suppressed, and why so many lovely Beings see me as a great mother, while I was not able to see this as well. As always, everything always has a deeper Core than it looks on the surface. All my life I never imagined or thought about having children or being a mother. I always thought this was for others, but not for myself and my own path. I thought my path was "family" free. I always through that this would interfere with my spiritual path and purpose, and I ended up defending that, when others mentioned me as being a mother. Today I saw, that these are merely excuses that I was feeding myself with.

Now certain circumstances are happening in my life, that are causing me to question everything. And within that Self questioning, this deeply suppressed part of me is coming to the surface. It doesn't matter what events or external circumstances this is related to, for it's more important to read the energy behind it and become aware of it, so that the further integration of wholeness can unfold. Because I AM deeply being initiated into the real Goddess Self, even birth and immaculate conception come into my awareness Now, as the Divine feminine is in everything from Divine child, magical Maiden/Princess and the fertile Goddess/Queen, the Divine Mother. I never had problems with holding the energy space of the Divine Mother in my Heart and energetically, within my spiritual purpose ... the service I offer to others.

But I had issues with it when it comes to being a physical mother to a child that would choose to enter this plane of Existence through me. I always asked myself: "Why can others feel this for themselves, and not me?" Now I AM beginning to honor that as well and trusting more, that everything is always a part of the Great Divine Plan, which we are all connected with through our pure Soul Essence. When we merge with the Soul completely, our personal plan and the Divine Plan are actually One. There is no more separation. So this is what I AM asked to do now, and this is what I AM to focus on. The time of the shift is really intense and transformational, and the Souls with the purest of DNA (karma free) are perfect vehicles for new incoming Souls, who desire to come to this planet at this very crucial time of the evolution of the Human Being.

So if that is needed on my path, then so be it. I will rise above it and move through anything that I still perceive as challenging. I will move deeper into neutrality ... the space of pure awareness ... and into Divine Love. I will be ready for anything, moving through any of the illusions that just hold us down. I know that all Soul expressions need to be valued as equals, and that they desire to always stay in perfect balance. I AM now willing to no longer project this limited view as to how I see myself. Mother or not a mother, my Soul knows, and it will be known in Divine timing. The Soul knows what is best for our highest path and evolution/expansion ... and we are only to let go and follow that higher knowing! Always free of any limiting fears!

For me, even writing about it is so healing/wholing. Writing always grounds my experience, and I AM thankful for that Gift of my Soul!

Within Divine Love, Polona Aurea Dawn

P.S. Go deeply within yourself, and You will be surprised at what can come up, when You are willing to go deep enough.