Dear Beloveds!
The Solar flares in
alignment with the Eclipse that we just had, are all bringing us a New
wave of energy. With this current Eclipse, the New is mixed in with the
old, so the shadow and the New are kind of mashed together. It i
s up to us Now, how boldly we will walk into a new life cycle. For the past couple of days, I AM going deep within myself and I AM
seeing which parts of me were most deeply suppressed. This became more
obvious after the Eclipse took place, and with each realization also
comes a powerful release. The key here is to allow ourselves to really
feel those feelings that come up with the release. And how do we know
what part of us is still somehow suppressed? It is usually the part of
us that we like to defend, that makes us reactive instead of responsive,
and it makes us believe that there is only one way, which prevents us
from being open to all. What is neutralized and whole, we never need to
defend or deny. It just is and we always go with the flow of life.
I have so many Soul expressions embodied and I always feel so much in
wholeness ... but ... there is a but here! One of my most deeply
suppressed parts is the Soul expression of being a mother. There were so
many messages coming into my awareness lately, all from Divine birth,
immaculate conception, babies, children, birth, etc. I was literally
beginning to freak out. I began to project into the future and I felt
the fear of the unknown. I also kept dreaming about it, which is always a
sign that we are processing something subconsciously. I began to
question why this is so.
What AM I really afraid of? Why is
this Soul aspect of me so suppressed, and why so many lovely Beings see
me as a great mother, while I was not able to see this as well. As
always, everything always has a deeper Core than it looks on the
surface. All my life I never imagined or thought about having children
or being a mother. I always thought this was for others, but not for
myself and my own path. I thought my path was "family" free. I always
through that this would interfere with my spiritual path and purpose,
and I ended up defending that, when others mentioned me as being a
mother. Today I saw, that these are merely excuses that I was feeding
myself with.
Now certain circumstances are happening in my
life, that are causing me to question everything. And within that Self
questioning, this deeply suppressed part of me is coming to the surface.
It doesn't matter what events or external circumstances this is related
to, for it's more important to read the energy behind it and become
aware of it, so that the further integration of wholeness can unfold.
Because I AM deeply being initiated into the real Goddess Self, even
birth and immaculate conception come into my awareness Now, as the
Divine feminine is in everything from Divine child, magical
Maiden/Princess and the fertile Goddess/Queen, the Divine Mother. I
never had problems with holding the energy space of the Divine Mother in
my Heart and energetically, within my spiritual purpose ... the service
I offer to others.
But I had issues with it when it comes to
being a physical mother to a child that would choose to enter this plane
of Existence through me. I always asked myself: "Why can others feel
this for themselves, and not me?" Now I AM beginning to honor that as
well and trusting more, that everything is always a part of the Great
Divine Plan, which we are all connected with through our pure Soul
Essence. When we merge with the Soul completely, our personal plan and
the Divine Plan are actually One. There is no more separation. So this
is what I AM asked to do now, and this is what I AM to focus on. The
time of the shift is really intense and transformational, and the Souls
with the purest of DNA (karma free) are perfect vehicles for new
incoming Souls, who desire to come to this planet at this very crucial
time of the evolution of the Human Being.
So if that is needed
on my path, then so be it. I will rise above it and move through
anything that I still perceive as challenging. I will move deeper into
neutrality ... the space of pure awareness ... and into Divine Love. I
will be ready for anything, moving through any of the illusions that
just hold us down. I know that all Soul expressions need to be valued as
equals, and that they desire to always stay in perfect balance. I AM
now willing to no longer project this limited view as to how I see
myself. Mother or not a mother, my Soul knows, and it will be known in
Divine timing. The Soul knows what is best for our highest path and
evolution/expansion ... and we are only to let go and follow that higher
knowing! Always free of any limiting fears!
For me, even
writing about it is so healing/wholing. Writing always grounds my
experience, and I AM thankful for that Gift of my Soul!
Within Divine Love, Polona Aurea Dawn
P.S. Go deeply within yourself, and You will be surprised at what can come up, when You are willing to go deep enough.
